ABOUT US
We are Losers.
We love coffee. But it gives us the jitters, and then we spend all day in the fetal position with anxiety.
Not to mention the acid, which hurts our tum-tums.
Calling us losers would be... correct.
Instead of giving up coffee and drinking tea or mushrooms or dirt, we're offering you a way to fuel your addiction and keep drinking what you love.
Our coffee has 30% caffeine, and is low in acid. It's also f***g delicious, and always freshly ground.
Our COFFEE
We sell premium coffee. It will give you that mild caffeine high you crave like a fiend, without the crash, jitters or shitters.
We sell a 12 oz bag of freshly ground arabica beans for $14.99. We cover shipping.
We expect to launch in May 2024, once our coffee bean genie, Ned, comes back from Brazil with the perfect batch of beans. He's a bit of a pushover though, and we haven't heard from him in a while. He was likely robbed, now that we're thinking about it, and is probably cleaning floors to pay for his plane ticket home.
Oh right! We are also Non-GMO, Organic, Fair Trade, and some other s**t that you probably geek out to.